I have never written this whole story out before & it feels a little weird typing this out because it feels like a secret I’ve kept for so long, but as I sat down this week to talk about “creating white cottage farm” our new series I was a little pulled to share just why this farm felt like an answer to so many prayers. I would feel more genuine sharing the terrible life event that happened right before we found White Cottage Farm that pushed us to say yes to the farm & move to our own little oasis away from a trauma and bad memories.
I have to start out this story by saying that I haven’t fully healed from this and I also want to say that I will not be sharing all the details, in fact I will leave many out because I want to protect some parties & to be quite honest a lot of the details are not necessary to tell you just what happened…
Back before we moved to the farm Jose worked second shift & managed an insurance output facility. He was gone in the evenings & that is when I would do a lot of my work blogging, projects, & shop things. The schedule worked out great for us & to be quite honest it wasn’t bad compared to the military life we had come from, at least we got to see each other at night & he wasn’t deploying. Thankfully he was home on the weekends as well.
One weekend we were up late doing projects on a saturday night. Before Copey we would stay up until 2am sometimes painting, building, listening to music, laughing… it was our date night. On this particular night I let the dogs out around midnight out the front door. It was late & we lived in a very quiet suburb so I was alarmed when near a street light in front of our house, standing in the shadows, I saw a figure of a man holding a stick just staring at our house. I quickly called the dogs back in and ran to tell Jose. Jose instantly assumed it was just a guy walking, but we still went into a dark room in the front of our house and peered out the window and we both watched the figure stare at our house. We were both kind of alarmed so we didn’t get back to our projects. Instead we decided to make sure the guy moved along & get ready for bed. Well, as we went into our room which is in the back of the house we noticed this figure going into our back yard. At this point Jose said “Call the police” & when you husband who is a marine veteran & has never shown fear a day in his life says that.. you do it. & quickly. The police came and surveyed our yard, but at this time the figure was gone & Jose and I wondered if we overreacted, but looking back our instincts just knew. We knew something wasn’t right. We still laid in bed and made excuses or scenarios for the figure like “maybe he was just going in our little woods in the back of the house for firewood” & “maybe he was just taking a shortcut through the yards” & so on. We fell asleep and throughout the next week we brought it up a few times, but we didn’t see the figure so we just moved on with our lives.
Fast forward to the following Saturday night. Jose and I were laying in bed watching TV after we had gone out to dinner & I made the comment like “This time last week we were calling the cops” & we both laughed thankful that this Saturday was so much calmer. If we only knew. A few minutes later at around 1am our doorbell rang. I jumped up out of bed so alarmed. Clearly still on edge from the week before. I checked my phone because we had a camera doorbell thankfully & all I saw was a large man holding on to a smaller man which in my mind at the time made no sense. I asked who they were firmly through the camera doorbell & a booming voice said “I caught a man looking in your window” & that was all I needed to hear to have a part of my world crumble down. Jose sprung right into action sprinting down the stairs to help apprehend the culprit, I called the cops, & the next few minutes were a blur. Jose had ordered me to stay upstairs so I listed from above to what was being said. I heard Jose yelling at this man who supposedly just got caught spying on us & he was admitting to doing it for a while now among some other awful things. I was in disbelief. It did not feel like real life. It all felt like I was in a movie. It also felt like forever until the cops showed up, but eventually a whole lot of cops came & more info started to come out.
The cops were kind, but I have to admit that I felt dirty talking about everything. I felt like I had been violated after the man admitted all of these things & I also felt like everyone was looking at me in ways that I didn’t want. I wanted to crawl in a hole, but I had to be strong and stay alert because I discovered quickly that these kinds of things are swept under the rug quickly if you don’t fight. After a night with the cops in our home getting our testimony & the cops hearing a full admission from the window peeper, he was allowed to go home. Yup. In our county at the time there was no jail time for a window peeper unless you are physically caught by the police [this may not be all the details, but it’s how it was explained to me]. I was devastated. I felt like our home was no longer our safe place. I felt betrayed. I felt unsafe. I felt confused. And most of all I felt like I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore. I spiraled so quickly into depression. Quicker than I ever had before. This man had truly taken away what feels like should be a human right. He had admitted to the police the following: He had been peeping in our windows for a long time, he had been doing it for many different reasons, & he also was being watched for many other reasons. And he was still allowed to go home. To his family. And feel safe while I sat in our home that no longer felt like our home. It gets a little worse…
The cops were kind, but I have to admit that I felt dirty talking about everything. I felt like I had been violated after the man admitted all of these things & I also felt like everyone was looking at me in ways that I didn’t want. I wanted to crawl in a hole, but I had to be strong and stay alert because I discovered quickly that these kinds of things are swept under the rug quickly if you don’t fight. After a night with the cops in our home getting our testimony & the cops hearing a full admission from the window peeper, he was allowed to go home. Yup. In our county at the time there was no jail time for a window peeper unless you are physically caught by the police [this may not be all the details, but it’s how it was explained to me]. I was devastated. I felt like our home was no longer our safe place. I felt betrayed. I felt unsafe. I felt confused. And most of all I felt like I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore. I spiraled so quickly into depression. Quicker than I ever had before. This man had truly taken away what feels like should be a human right. He had admitted to the police the following: He had been peeping in our windows for a long time, he had been doing it for many different reasons, & he also was being watched for many other reasons. And he was still allowed to go home. To his family. And feel safe while I sat in our home that no longer felt like our home. It gets a little worse…
For a few reasons it actually gets worse. While admitting things we also heard from the neighbor who caught him. The neighbor thankfully had been sitting in his car in his driveway smoking so the peeper didn’t see him. But it looked to him like he was trying to get in the house. Remember earlier in the story when I said that we had gone out to dinner that night? Well, we had met at my store & drove together to dinner & then home. We had left Jose’s car at the shop so it looked like he wasn’t home. This man was most likely watching for a while & when Jose’s car was gone he assumed he was at work that night. Thank goodness he was actually home. & thank goodness for the observant neighbor who took action. Who knows what would have been that night. But on to the second thing that makes this situation worse. I won’t give a ton of details, but this person lived very close to us. Like I had to see them a lot kind of close. So, in order to feel a little more safe because I felt like I had to, I went to the courthouse to get a PPO on this person in order to make sure that if I was ever in proximity with them I would have documentation that that was not a good idea. It was a lot of work to get one & a lot of driving, but I got one & then I hired someone to serve him. Well, that should work right? Nope. A few nights later after dropping everything in my life that week to get this PPO, I was feeling good, Jose was back at work, & a cop I know happened to text me at around 11pm that night to see if I was ok. It was fate. Right when he texted me my doorbell rang. It was 11pm & EVERYBODY that knew me knew what had happened so a doorbell ring & no text or call was NOT GOOD. I told him right then & he said “we are on our way”.. I couldn’t make this up if I tried: After receiving the PPO the peeper decided to harass us by ringing the doorbell & happened to be outside when the cops came. He was caught. & since I had this PPO this time it gave the cops the right to search his house. Well, this time he went to jail for what they found. So, that door bell ring at 11pm was actually a saving grace. Though it wasn’t the solution & it didn’t fix everything sadly.
I still think of it daily. It still haunts me. & I am still in disbelief that it happened. I would have NEVER known how much a peeping tom could effect you until it happened to me. I would have never thought it would feel like this and keep me on edge still to this day. I’m thankful for cameras, alarm systems, & other systems we have put into place for our protection. But if you know someone who has been through this or if it has happened to you .. know that you are not alone & also I hope by me sharing this that it can help you either empathize with someone or just help you with your struggles.
So how did that lead us here to White Cottage Farm? Well, we had already had the idea to look for a new home. It was already in the back of our minds & we had already gone to look at a few places, but this dark event definitely pushed us even harder to go and look for a new home & shortly after that event we found the farm & it all just fell into place. That is how we found our safe haven here on White Cottage Farm after a very dark storm. & that is why this rainbow over the barn that happened the day we moved in meant so much to us. A sign that this farm was meant to be and a true gift from God.
I am scared to hit publish on this because I feel so vulnerable putting this story out into the world, but I think it’s time. It’s been 4 years & I hope it can help someone out there. Thank you guys so much for being here & for listening. xx Liz Marie
